A Prost: To fat guys in little coats - 30 days to 35 - Drinking my first beer

I do not drink beer. I have uttered that statement and defended it countless times. But in all fairness, I never really gave beer a fair shake. I think its the smell. My dad has been a beer drinker for as long as I can remember. And when I was a kid he used to let us go to the fridge and bring him his beer after work. (I know, I know, that would probably be enough for someone to call child services on him these days, but it was the late 70s/early 80s, what do you expect?) I vividly remember trekking to the kitchen, lugging open the door and grabbing Dad's beer. On the walk to his corner recliner, I would try with all my might to twist open the cap to that bottle of Michelob. By the time I reached him, my dad would just laugh at my little straining face and grab the beer, twisting off the top easily. Then he would kiss my cheek....and the skunky, rank smell of beer always made me turn up my little nose. Needless to say, beer left an early nasty impression on me.

Even when I started drinking socially in grad school, I could never get beyond my initial impression. This led to some VERY expensive bar nights. I cant remember how many times I watched with envy as my friends drank themselves stupid on dollar beers while I sipped on my overpriced Amaretto sour (my only one of the night because it was all I could afford). So it would have been easy, or at least economical, to acquire a taste for beer. (Which, by the way, I always thought was the worst argument my friends gave me for drinking beer...if I have to LEARN to like something, that means I don't really like it!!) But I could never do it...which is how a red-blooded American woman arrives at the age of 34 never having had a beer.

So I decided this MUST make my list....but now the bigger question....on which beer wagon do I take my maiden voyage?? I enlisted suggestions and got a wide range of advice ("If you're going to do it, suck it up and do it right? Go for a stout!", "Be ghetto and drink of 40 of Old E!", "Stay away from commercial domestic, go with quality!"). The decision was a tough one...in the end, I went with a throwback from my days in Portland. Widmer Hefeweizen. The whole time I lived there, that was all my friends drank. I figure if its good enough for them, I can try it! (For those of you who have never had one of these from a bottle, there is a pleasant surprise inside....the underside of the bottlecap contains a "prost" (German for toast). They are usally really funny...at least, mine was!)


I buy the twelve pack (I wasn't thinking I would like it THAT much, my husband drinks it so I figured it wouldn't go to waste) and frost a glass in my freezer in anticipation (I have seen other people do that and always wanted a reason to do it myself. I felt so cool!!) I pour the beer, add the lemon, and then...the moment of truth. I tried not to flinch as the cold amber liquid hit my lips, I swallowed....and it wasn't bad. It wasn't GOOD, but it wasn't bad. I took another drink...and then another...by this time the beer was hitting my stomach and didn't seem to be sitting well. I felt slightly nauseated and not the least bit buzzed. Realizing I would have to finish at least this beer and probably another before I felt anything....and weighing the bubbling in my stomach AND the bottle of wine in the fridge, I tapped out.... Screw beer...somebody mix me a cosmo!!